Making Provision or Earning Fortune?



Let me ask one hackneyed question, that we keep hearing, reading but don't really bother to ponder upon. What is the meaning of our existence in this world? Of course there cannot be single answer to it and I am definitely not going into spiritual aspect of it. For a common man, what is the purpose of existence. To live a successful life - right? Whatever maybe the definition of success but everyone wants to be successful in life. In different roles, we assess out success based on relevant criteria. A successful businessman, artist, player. A successful family man, parent, husband\wife.
As parents, your responsibility is to make provisions for your children till they become independent. However most people mistake making provisions as earning fortunes. Struggle is necessary in life. Struggle is what prepare one for life. Struggle makes an individual mentally strong and help develop the surviving skills required in future. A life without struggle also robs one of invaluable learning experiences. By providing a struggle free life to your children, you are actually making them vulnerable and susceptible to failures. Your intentions maybe right but actions are wrong. It is like helping a moth, struggling to come out of cocoon, by cutting the cocoon open. The process of coming out of cocoon transfers the energy fluids stored in its abdomen to its upper body and wings providing the necessary strength to fly. In your ignorance you have actually diminished its survival chances.  Due to lack of strength in wings it will not be able to feed properly and also cannot save itself from predators. Likewise a struggle free life cannot provide required mental and physical robustness.


Parents should be conscious of their actions and decisions and analyse the consequences. Every action we take sends some message to our children. Being there for your children when they need is good, however, your decisions should not make children over-dependent, over-relying and assuming. Do not reach out to them, let them stretch out to you for help if required. Day to day family talks are good source of instilling such values in children. If your conversations and actions paints a picture that no matter what I do, my parents are there to help me then it is a harmful situation. Instead, let children prove themselves at every step. They should know that, I will have to do my part before I can seek assistance from parents. 

For example, when choosing a career course, parents can take a clear stand that children are free to choose the course of their liking, until they secure required marks or score enough percentile in entrance exams. However, in case they fall short for a particular course, they should keep alternatives ready. Parents should not offer to compensate their score shortfall with higher donation amounts. 

There is no need to be adamant and obstinate on getting your child, who scored below par in entrance, admitted to a medical(or similar expensive professional) course and loose your sleep over it. Remember, you are not doing any favor to your child by getting a payment seat, you are actually satiating your individual ego by forcing your own dreams onto that poor soul. Donations are going to make dents in your subconscious howsoever matured individual you pretend to be. Donations are going to affect your relations with you child, you accept it or not. We humans are such a selfish race that we won't invest a single rupee without getting an answer to WIIFM. Not even in case your own children. And you should avoid pretending that you are any different. Many parents could not even dream to pay 40-50 lacs towards education of a child. You can peacefully join that league, at least you know you made a choice. A far better and mature approach in such case is to encourage children to activate plan B and plan C and so on. You just be there, guide them, mentor if possible or find them a good mentor. Your child would be grateful in future for letting them choose a peaceful life.  

There are numerous talented-cum-needy children in society. If you have earned enough to support your children, sponsor them with a grateful heart. You will actually be serving the society by providing it with talented doctors, engineers and other professionals. When these people would join the work, they can focus on their duty understanding needs of people and not on calculations about how to get their educational expenses reimbursed from society. Earn empires for yourself if you wish so, but keep your children detached from it. This way, you would also help your child to grow as a better human being. A far better one than you would have, by paying hefty donations. There is no social rule that a family has to grow richer generation after generation. Every child coming in the world has the capability to build empires, if we just make right provisions. Let your children decide how rich and elite they want to be, because that is just one aspect of the life. Who knows, your children are sent in world to build far better empires, one of love and inclusion and collective success.
About Me
Life must be need driven and not greed driven!

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