Ego Self-Treatment

(Disclaimer: The article is an outcome of my exploration and experience about dealing with the ego.  I frankly admit that it is easier said than done and I am still struggling. Results vary person to person, depending on sincerity of actions in the process.)  

Ego is an abundant material, we can easily see ego in others but we are somehow blind towards self-ego. Some of us admit to themselves being egotist.  Now the question is, how bad is your ego? Your close ones can answer it better than anyone else in world. We are pretty good in pretending to be a good human being at our workplaces or in distant relations. But our near and dear ones face our ego bursts almost everyday. It takes courage and conviction to take this self-assessment, but sooner the better. Be forthcoming, frank and open on this activity. Ask your close friends and family to assess you on ego scale 1 to 10. If they bypass your questions and/or are reluctant to share their opinion about you being an egotist, that will be a loud and clear sign of your BIG EGO. You are definitely 10 on 10. But like many other diseases, it is never a gone case for a ego patient. There are ways to get hold of your ego, rein it and ride it with full control. 

The first and foremost step in ego dis-ease treatment is to acknowledge and accept this mental condition - Yes, you read it right. Like any other psychological disorders, extreme ego is a mental disorder and a serious threat to a healthy life. Next step is to convince your mind that it needs a treatment. Most of the time in our life, we act as slaves of our minds. You cannot change this overnight, but if you are determined to walk the path of remedy, then here are some tips-n-tricks to keep your ego in check. Some of these may appear funny, silly and trivial to you but when you try to put them in action you will know it is not so. Your mind will start playing games with you. Let's go from simpler to harder ones.

1. Check your frowns:

Ego forces us to develop a habit of frowning. Frowning is the characteristics of an egotist person, who often tend to doubt and question the behavior and values of people. You may not know but frowning is tiring. It is not harsh only on your facial muscles but also on your brain. 

2. Wear a smile:

Always have a light smile on face, even when you are in your own company. A light smile comes naturally to us. Avoid heavy smile, as it generally is sported with efforts by the people who are faking it purposefully. Consciously keep reminding yourself about the smile, till it becomes a habit. If you develop this habit, you will notice that you cannot frown anymore.

3. Bow down:

Ego brings a strange stiffness in us. Our mind doesn't allow us to bow down to someone or something easily. As a ritual, we occasionally do that inside worship places habitually, not spontaneously. No wonder we find it difficult to do with people. So start with bowing down, in your mind, to people around you. Slowly increase the radius of your respect and humility from people to animals and from animals to objects. If you can do something with your hands, avoid using your feet to do it. This brings in a physical bowing down practice and help develop a respecting nature. 

For e.g. Avoid pushing or sliding kid's toys lying on the floor with legs. Bow down pick them up. Bow down when you talk to your kids.

4. Check the pitch, tone and volume of your voice:

This is specifically for the situations when you are feeling angry within for some reason. A must exercise for short-tempered people. Avoid sharp pitch, demeaning tone and raised volume as far as possible. You should exercise complete control over these attributes of oral communication. 

For e.g. Sometimes a raised volume can get you the result you want, you don't need to have a demeaning\sarcastic tone

5. Convert your orders into instructions, instructions into suggestions and suggestions into requests:

Depending on our role and position in home, workplace or society, we tend to communicate differently with people. Sometimes it may be a requirement however, you can reflect a bit on your communication style to see if the aforementioned changes can be brought in. Try to lower the dryness and extra assertiveness in conversation.

For e. g. Just because your are family head, you need not always issue orders to family members. Instead, try using instructions and suggestions. Even kids deserve a respectful communication from parents.

6. Do not be judgmental:

Such a simple and short tip but very very hard to put into action. We are in too much hurry to apply labels and put the people in boxes. Most of the time it is not at all needed or asked that you judge people. And the interesting thing is that, when you are hardly in the position, capacity or role to judge someone, you feel strong urge to do so. And if you ought to do so for some justifiable reason, defer the judgement as much as you can.

7. Don't look down on:

You can look up to someone, idealize someone. Great if you strive to become like them. However never look down on someone.  A person more competent and deserving than you may not be doing as good as you are. Similarly, a less deserving person can be far ahead of you in race of life. Who you are is not completely your own making. So many people and factors played a role in your life to make you who you are. Same applies to every human being.

8. Agree to disagree:

It is the social media connected and contracted world. Everyone of us has found the platforms to put forth their opinions. Everyone wants to have some opinion on every damn thing that is happening around the globe and it doesn't end here. We want our opinion to be counted. And lastly, we want our opinion to be upheld. In this world of approximately 7800000000 individuals, do you stand even a remotest chance? 

No! 

Still if you are lucky, thank almighty for that or else simply agree to disagree. Having an opinion is good but being opinionated is egoistic.

9. Tune into people:

Find some time and walk to a place where you can see some common people working, busy in chores. Observe them carefully. Observe their behavior, how they work, their struggle. Observe their walk of day to day life. Try to picture yourself as any one of them. Build an imaginary friend circle with them. Connect with them and care for them.

For e.g. Why the daily vegetable vendor is not there today? Why there are so less kids playing in the garden?

Half an hour daily, if you do this exercise, you will definitely feel some change happening within you.

10. The final destination:

Once in a while, the often the better, do visit a cemetery or crematorium. Watch the last rites being offered. Picture yourself in the coffin or on a pyre. Tell yourself that on my day, I will come here for the last time. Isn't it fascinating that so many individual journeys are currently taking place in the world to end at same final destination. Would you not like to join the people little early i.e. during journey itself?

11. Set your perspective right:

Whenever you have some peaceful time, close your eyes and take an imaginary travel through the universe - an infinite creation. En route, visit different galaxies, stars, planets. Dwell in there. Let the immensity sink into you. And then slowly, take the path back to your home galaxy Milky-way, and then to your solar system, and then to your planet Earth, and then to your country, and then to your state, and then to your city/village, and then to your home, and then to your room and see there you are, sitting on a small chair in a corner with your eyes closed. Open your eyes, and recalling the experience of journey, put your existence in right perspective. A micro-micro spec is what you truly are.

As I mentioned in beginning, you may find some of these suggestions funny or silly. However, I would recommend that, you try each one of the experiment before writing it off. Going ahead select a few which are suitable to you and practice them with conviction. Eventually, some of these will become your habits and some you may not need any more. 

So, there you go, I wish you best luck! Please wish me back.