Heart, Feelings and Emotions

We often and grossly confuse love as a relationship. Wrong and hackneyed usage of the word love has complicated the affairs for us humans. We also confuse love as an emotion. 

Love is neither a kind of relationship nor an emotion. Love is a feeling and can go on to become a state of the heart.


It is little confusing, so let's try to sort it out. 

There has always been confusion between brain and heart and who controls what. Heart starts its work in the womb of mother. Brain works on acquired data.

To feel is heart's business


Feelings are realm of the heart. Our body gathers data from world using sensory organs. All the information is sent to brain. Our brain then process the information. To perceive or feel the received information is heart's job. Note that here we are referring to the abstract and not the physical organ heart. Apart from processing information, brain stores memories about the actions, incidents and everything including feelings. We can recall an incident from past and recreate\re-live the same feeling we experienced. Like heart which is an abstract organ, our feelings are also abstract and internal. To be able to convey/express our feelings, we need to emote. So emotions are concrete manifestations of our feelings with help of our body.

Magnitude of these feelings is a dynamic thing. Sometimes we feel strongly for a person and we are unable to control our feelings and we express them. For e.g. 
  • We hug tightly when we emote
  • We guffaw when we emote
  • We slap the friend/foe when we emote
  • We cry our hearts out when we emote

An emotion is a temporary and tangible expression of the elevated feelings in your heart.

When some feelings gets elevated in the heart as a result of situation or interaction, heart triggers the brain to help convey it. Brain then instruct our body to take appropriate actions. And our body delivers the emotions to the world. Once the wave of emotion recedes the feelings stabilizes in level it was.




We enter into relationships because we develop feelings for someone. Feelings may vary from loving, liking, adoring, respect, affection, friendliness to dislike, loathing, rivalry, animosity. There are many such feelings human heart can perceive. When we meet someone for first time we develop some impressions from appearance. Then we talk to the person and our impressions are either strengthened or changed. When we meet someone again and again, the impressions start converting into feelings. Say we find a person amicable and enjoy his/her company. From an acquaintance the person becomes a friend. Friendship flourishes and now you start finding him/her trustworthy and start liking the person. As a relationships progresses and matures it start encompassing multiple feelings. We may also develop negative feelings about a person. Note that enmity is also a kind of relationship. 

Two persons having same feeling towards someone can be very different in their emotions. For e.g. females are more emotive than male. Parents love their kids equally. They have the feeling of bonding, attachment and affection. However, mothers are very expressive in conveying feelings through their actions. They often caress and kiss the kids.

Emoting points for people vary individually. People with moderate emoting points are generally successful in relationships. People with low emoting point are generally fussy and volatile whereas people with high emoting point are cool and sometimes can be painfully indifferent/detached.

To be able to emote is very important and necessary for everyone. A person in relationship expect that his/her partner will satisfy their emotional needs. If emotional needs are not met, these suppressed or unexpressed feelings can take you for the ride and sometimes really bad one. When people land into difficult situations for any reason and they do not find support around them, they long for it. They desperately search for:

  • A hand to hold
  • An ear to listen
  • A shoulder to cry

Extended exposure to such state of heart and mind break them down. Depression is nothing but an implosion of feelings which could not be channelized out to the world. Suicide is the worst and often turn out to be the last emotion in life.




Now that we understood feelings and emotions and the process involved in it, we should take benefit of it. There is whole market they made out of Emotional Intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence is simply to understand the above process and then intercept our feelings at brain level to maneuver the natural actions into actions convenient to our benefit. 


A word of caution: 
Manipulate negative emotions only and limit it to work related interactions. Trying to go overboard and practice it in personal life can make you a mechanical person and affect your relationships.

 A related article
   About Me
Life must be need driven and not greed driven!

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